My 3rd child is exactly 28 months old. I have spent the past few months feeling the self loathe. Not only is my youngest no longer a baby and that my baby growing days have come to an end but I really shouldn't be still carrying around the baby pouch = sad face, eat some cake drink some wine! Oh look pouch isn't getting smaller quick drink more wine! Hey don't judge me I know you do it too. Mentally I think you have to go through this to develop the motivation to actually do something. I've been toying with writing a blog post like this for years.
In my late teens early twenties I was NEVER super thin. I am average sized, about a 10 teetering onto 12 as I do have wide thighs, sometimes an 8 on top seeing as I was never blessed in the bosom department, but what I did have was BODY CONFIDENCE. When I first met Daddy Moo 12 years ago in Turkey – I frequently wore bikinis and thought nothing of it. I basically walked around in my underwear! Now I get dressed either in the dark into my granny pj's or whilst he is in another room – which is stupid and I know it is BUT I don't have that body confidence anymore.
At school I used to run I loved running especially cross country – getting wet and muddy in the winter, now the thought makes me quiver! I used to dance too – now I have practically no co-ordination I'm amazed that I can stand up without falling over – well most the time. I loved being active – now I'm too knackered to even consider it! It's not easy running a home, 3 children and a business and something has had to take the brunt of it and that’s my figure. WELL NO MORE! That's right no more I tell you! I'm taking it back!
What makes this journey different to everyone else?!? I don't care about weight. Did you hear me? I don't actually know how much I weigh …. I'm guessing its probably between 10/12 stone. To be quite frank I don't care how much I weigh. I just really want to banish this mass of wibbly wobbly jelly right around my middle – I don't want to diet! I eat healthy bar the self loathing wine and cake. Dieting would also mean our whole family would have to change eating habits we eat together as a family – there is no fuss you get what’s on the plate. I cook everything from scratch and we like to grow veg too. I don't want my dieting to impact on the children and them start to wonder about weight, food etc.
OK so I decided in September no more moaning time to make a change. I measure the largest part of my belly – not my hips or waist my tummy the bit that hangs over my jeans – I'd say muffin top it's more like a whole Victoria sponge than a muffin! It was 38inches!! 38inches! That's bigger than my bust size! No wonder this is hanging over even a size 14 jean. So ideally I'd like to loose the Victoria sponge I'd like to fit comfortably not pouring over the sides of a size 12. I think I need to skim 5-7 inches of the Victoria sponge.
OK so in September I have been trying a few different exercise/inch loss activities which I will blog about this week and I'm open to trying some more so do shout if you have any suggestions. This journey isn't designed to make you feel sad (if you reading and thinking I'm way bigger than that!) its about me regaining my body confidence and the tum is part 1!
Me in 2005 when I felt confident about my body.